Until today.
This morning, we gathered together as a team for worship, a devotional, and prayer. And still, when our field director (Steve) mentioned that we’d spend a bit of time in prayer about our house situation, my first thought was, “Yeah! We definitely need God to get to work on this! I mean, c’mon already.”
During our devotional time God gave me a little spiritual chastisement. “Enough already, my daughter! Would you get a grip already? Enough with the pity parties!” (Yes, I believe God would talk to me in such a manner.)
I will admit that I’ve become rather obsessed with the whole house thing. These weeks have made it crystal clear just how important making a nest for my little chicks really is for me. Let me be clear: there is nothing wrong with wanting to make a home for your family, or in wanting a home for your family. Those are good desires that God gives us, especially us Mamas.
But when we take it to the extreme I did, focusing solely on that and forgetting everything else, those good desires become idols.
How long did we wait and pray to be back here in Mexico City, working alongside our teammates and national brothers and sisters in Christ? Five long years. Yet instead of joyously celebrating our return, I was growing more and more frantic and centered on finding a house.
I took my eyes off why God brought us here--the spiritual need of the people--and focused instead on my own earthly needs.
It was painful to realize.
Who knows why it’s taken so long for us to find a house? (I promise it’s not because we’re being picky. In order to make our money stretch as far as it possibly can, we’ve restricted our housing budget--something, by the way, we felt led by God to do. Unfortunately, the houses within our budget are generally too small for our family of six. One was a good size and price, but was filled with mold, a major concern for us with my asthma and the boys’ allergies. Therefore, we’ve been waiting and searching for a house that fits all of our needs.) Maybe God has been using this time to show me just where my focus has been and where it needs to be. Maybe once we get to the point where we can just be content where we are--yes, even crammed together in one of the guest apartment bedrooms--things will begin to fall into place for us.
Stressing, fretting, and generally doing things my own way hasn’t worked. I think it’s time I just let go of it all and trust that God will throw wide open the doors to just the right house (and neighborhood) for us in His timing. He alone can see the future. He alone knows what is coming and what we need.
And in Him will I trust.
In the meantime, I will enjoy the blessing of being on the third floor and having the incredible views of the city to remind myself of why we’re really here.
For the people we see driving or walking by. For the families represented by the rows and rows of houses seen (sometimes) as far as the eye can see.
